The Fat Man Cometh November 12, 2009

Entertain me, fat boy!

That’s what you’re all thinking. Little do you know, my friends, you’re on fat guy time now. And that means you wait until somebody brings whatever you want to you. It’s sometimes a long wait.

So where is Big Man On Campus? Where did it go? Well, it’s on vacation.

For those of you that picked up The Peak this week, you may have seen a little doo-hickey in the corner of the funny pages:

Love Handles

Thats right, ladies and gentlemen, a feature!

See, what happened to BMOC was very similar to what happened when Trey Parker took over all the creative duties on South Park and Matt Stone just started insulating him from all the other bullshit: it got a wee bit serious, politics all peppered into the scatalogical. This isn’t a value statement, it’s just seems appropriate to explain my point.

See, the talented and sexy John Morrison III and I decided I had gone a little too far up my own ass (my words, not his) for the Humour pages. And he was definately right: Weapons of Mass Delicious marked a turn for the run ( I say that like it has been some epic amount of time) where things got a little bit deeper and started sewing in some thought with the fat jokes.

Not to worry: the next part of the run (BBW, D+D Free) was, I think, my funniest article. But it was also the most serious. Too serious, we decided, for the Humour pages.

So, it is with great pleasure that I announce that in the coming weeks, the very fetching Stacey McLachlan has been kind enough to give the project a home in Peak Features.

And because you are so cool, I want to give you a little preview. Watch this space, friends. It’s all happening soon. We’ll have an army pretty soon, all dressed in bulky clothing, shouting my words from the streets to the people who matter! Like this:



Clinton Hallahan

Aretha Franklin was a fat, fat woman with the right idea, asking for a little respect years before obesity became as common as chairs. I doubt she and Dr. King were concerned with fat-ass rights, but would nevertheless be surprised to learn people are judged less on the content of their character than the number of chins they have.
I’m gonna give one to the hardcore feminist element out there: ladies, you are far better at having your fatness held against you than men. If fat dudes are busy being a punchline, you are truly out back being tarred, feathered, cleaned up and tarred all over again into infinity, like a hungry hungry Sisyphus who shops at Pennington’s. The table is indeed tilted, but I am of the opinion that the majority of the incline comes from other women heaving your gut onto said table.